Huh.

Sometimes, I just don't understand. I mean really, I don't understand. Because of this whole internet hoo-haa, we are able to see things, notice things, read things, right? Right. What happens when you notice something and its a bit opposite of something else, and you are left wondering, is it you? Maybe I did not get the memo. You know, the one that says please tell Amanda one thing while you tell others another thing. Or, even better, please DON'T tell Amanda things until its too late. I'm sitting here pounding thoughts through my head, wondering if this is one of those "you are expecting too much" but piss on bricks I just don't see it. Seriously - I'm sitting here running phrases through my head, but, these are phrases that have no end because I can't end them. I can't make reason of them, therefore, they are fragments... and this frustrates me.

I really wish I could avoid that punch-in-the-stomach feeling I get when these things happen. I wish I could delete things in my mind. If only my head were more like a computer, ha, that would be funny :) Back to my original thought.... I'm sitting here trying to end these sentences and then thinking "What the fuck?" Maybe it is me. I feel like packing up and going. Far, far, away where I can just, be. I'm not adverse to leaving everyone and everything behind (except my dogs). This is kind of weird, isn't it? Fuck, I don't know anymore.