suffocation

My cheeks are warm, my body is numb. I'm sitting here feeling like at any moment I will stop breathing. This feeling is one I fight. I put all my strength into pushing this out me. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to kick down walls. I feel sick to my stomach and my jaw is clenched shut. What, the, fuck. I did not think this would happen. I really thought I had moved passed the point of reaction - apparently I did not move as far as I thought.

Damn the person, the place, the thing, the inanimate object, that makes me feel this way. I want to say leave me alone - but those words won't come out of my mouth, no matter how hard I try to say them.