A Somewhat Adieu

I wrote once of you before
So I will write once of you again.
Painfully aware of my current condition,
Paranoid and awake.
You glided over me and surrounded me,
Sucking the air from my lungs so my legs buckled when we kissed.
You clasped your hand around my heart
And choked out the light that helped me see.
I have no desire to dig up dirt
Or to speak filth.
I am beyond such forces and
I am beyond such cruel intentions.
You bit my lip once
When you kissed me so deeply it stuck close to my soul.
Like snow upon my nose
You danced sweetly in my head and left white, wet, footprints.
I wanted to spin and turn,
With you inside me,
With you all around me.
I wanted to hold you and protect you.
But you kicked and spit,
You burned and cut,
Before you had the chance to see the beauty of me.
In a quiet mess I sit and digress,
The lines between us could start fires,
And the split between us could be miles.
You hold a light so strong and yet so dark,
So passionate and so painful
I can no longer bare witness to its overwhelming flame.
I will blow out your candle
And make you stumble to find the handle.
I will watch you fall, crash and cry
Because I'm everything you desire, I'm everything you crave
And you are what I find pumping through my veins.
Take nothing now as you are too weak
Walk away empty as you choose to lose and clearly not gain.
Like a beautiful melody you drift in and out of my mind
You sweep over me like a sweet breeze,
You catch my shirt and tug at my pants,
But you are out the door before anything hits the floor.
When I wake gasping in complete darkness,
I brace the air next to me and cry out again as you are
Nowhere.
Take everything you never learned,
Take everything you never could possibly have expected,
Ball everything up you never did know,
And create emptiness from something.
You hung yourself by your own will
And you left yourself standing, hands in your pockets,
As I sweetly shimmied away.