I have thought of myself as a warrior
With weapons drawn and shield protecting
But I stand here before you
With everything laying on the ground.
I fall to the ground to sit at your knees
My eyes filled with tears
My heart in my stomach
I'm pleading for forgiveness.
The scars on my heart are deep
The binds around my wrist brought bruises
My knuckles are red from beating the walls
And my knees are blackened by the dirt.
Through all the troubles and the stories,
Falling, wounded, and gasping for air,
A strength centered me and carried me,
It kept me moving and breathing,
My center was you.
I know I wounded you,
I know I bruised you,
and I know I disgraced myself in front you
Losing your trust and your faith.
But here on my knees
In front you and all the world to see,
I beg for forgiveness.
You have my heart and my soul
Sitting there in the palm of your hand.
My weapons are on the ground
I choose not them, but you.
I wish for nothing more than baby steps to your heart
To wake up to your face
Your hand embracing mine
Taking back what was once ours
That I carelessly misjudged and took for granted.
I care not for anyone else
I love not anyone else,
But you.
If it is not you then I will walk away,
Leaving my weapons
Leaving my ammo
And living my life in solace.
If it is not you then I will bow my head,
Take my cue and disappear.
I know my soul has only one partner in life,
I know my heart has only one perfect match,
You are the keeper of the light
That shines in my center,
I want nothing more,
But you.
Please see these tears
And these bruised knuckles
As I have battled the walls and knocked down brick
As signs of my fight,
My fight for you.
I wish only to cherish you,
To hold you,
To protect you with my strength,
And carry you through the rest of our days.
As I say these things before you,
Opening my heart to you as I have never previously done,
I fear you will turn your head and walk away,
I fear you will tell me I am not worthy
And that all I have to offer, as yours and yours only,
Is now no longer what you desire.
I fear losing you and everything that ever made me happy,
I fear losing my center and my strength.
For if I do not have you,
If I can never see your smile,
If I can never hear your laugh,
If I can never give you my love,
Or bed you with the passion we both have said
Was the best we had ever had,
If I do not have you,
I have nothing.