A Many Random

I have come to realize that my life can never completely make sense. Currently, the only area of my life that seems to have some resemblance of "sense" is my job. I love my job. I think the luck plant in my office is working. And my goals are being met, so I guess the acorn is powerful too.

And here is where it does not make sense. This "thing" where people just can't tell me things:

Twice now, twice, I have lost something and have not been able to find it. And I lost it unknowingly. During my search, my quest, I was given nothing to tell me why such a thing was taken away from me, nor was I told whether or not I would get it back. At this point I think it's something I just have to place in my hands and blow into the air. Obviously I will never know. Obviously I will never learn why I lost these things. Obviously I can't be spoken to about this subject because apparently it's hush-hush. But for this to happen twice, I'm beginning to wonder if there was something in my life I forgot to do, or didn't do, or did but was awful, and now it's coming back to me.

And then.... I hear something from someone else and my jaw drops to the floor. Uh, yeah, why didn't person X tell me that? That's kind of a big deal... no, HUGE deal. Here I sat with a smile and now I can only grin and bare it. I feel, slightly, like someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. But now I have poked holes through that wool and can see what has been a secret. And of course I can't say anything.... this kind of stuff has to come from the persons mouth, I can't be smackin' hear-say. But geez.... what is the deal with not talking to me?

On a brighter note, I get to see the LOVE of my life in November. Words cannot express how I feel about this. If only I could have my own. I know he belongs to another, but dammit, someone should clone him. Why is it so hard to have my own? Even my secretary made a comment that they (she and the office?) need to find me a boyfriend. I just laughed... haha...