Second meeting with the dude and my vulnerability skyrockets. Who would've thought? Apparently the dude is good. Real good. I already have an "issue" to manage. Ha! I mean, I have a lot to manage but this is one that requires real work, not easy work, like I have apparently been moving under. Easy. That's me. Hm. :-/ And now, now I deal with another crazy cotton ball in my head. This feeling of total frustration and anger because of a certain situation. WHY?! That is what I scream in my head. Why, why, why? I hope to work this out because this one, this one has a deep hold on me and I think I'm ready to let it go. I think. I'm not positive.
And also, I have to ponder, have my past behaviors and actions been, irrational? My tendency to move at a whim or be quick to flip the switch makes me think... maybe it's not healthy, or normal. I mean, no one is normal, but, maybe this irrational behavior is what intentially drags me down, even if it gives me a contact high (which lasts 5 seconds).
My eyes hurt today. For reasons unspoken. I wonder if it will be like this all the time.
One a good note, apparently its good to be vulnerable, and apparently, I'm "likeable". :-)
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