I just wrote something fancy but I don't feel like sharing. It's too deep for a morning such as this... so I will go forward and propose a few thoughts.
"do you ever need me, cus baby I need you" - isn't that always the case? Why do we humans subject ourselves to chasing things that we cannot have or we cannot ever fully receive? You'd think that over time our minds and our hearts would adjust to this silly nonsense and we could protect ourselves from confusion and total fucking chaos. But it seems apparent that time and time again we make ourselves stuck in muck trying to figure it all out.
"do you ever want me, cus baby I want you" - and I want you so badly that my fingers ache and my mind refusing to change the thought process. It is as if someone went into my head and flipped a switch and I have no clue how to change it back. I'm desperate to turn it off. Because really, if I could, wouldn't that change my thoughts and put me back where I was, without feeling like my world has been turned upside down? Could we really flip a switch and go back, and do we want to? I can't say I'm in favor of going back if means I have to give up the good that has recently come - but how good are these good things, especially if they make me feel confused and utterly gooey?
"do you miss me, cus baby I miss you" - I do. And I hate every minute of feeling like I miss something that is so.... indescribable. Who are you to deserve such emotions from me? Who are you to feel that you can have that benefit and luxury? Though the thought of it all makes me close my eyes and picture everything in my mind, so vivid and clear. And when I open my eyes and see the heat rising from the ground and know my location is so far from everything, I want only to curl up and cry. It was supposed to be good for a long time and I was not to falter - but I have. I have faltered and I place part of the blame upon you - because you have helped turn it all upside down so I walk around with my head in the clouds struggling to breath. Why? Why oh why do we have such affect upon others? Why do we miss things that we shouldn't but it's terribly difficult to push it aside? Why can't I just fold it up neatly and tuck it away? It certainly would make things much more bearable...