Unreal?

.... for someone whom you've stood up for, defended, had heated arguments with but respected in the end, and cried over for fear of them leaving so soon and missing them dearly: to tell you that you are not worthy of their friendship? Stifle a laugh and stifle the anger - it bites. Can I make any sense of this whole situation? None what-so-ever. And that is how I will keep it. For the first time, in a long time, I am simply letting the situation be and letting the bridge fall. They broke it. They started the fire. I refuse to put it out and am letting it run its course. Friendship is weird, and when it falls away, it makes you wonder who you are and, sometimes, what the fuck happened.

.... something also happened a few days ago that has made me ponder, yet again, myself and my actions. How will my life change in a year from now? and will it be good, or will it challenge me every step of the way, making me question my decisions and actions? I'm good with challenges. I accept them and try and learn from them. But this one - this one is different. This one makes me feel like I might end up as the "ally mcbeal" of the world. And those who know me well, know exactly what I mean. I'm ending one thing, and it might just be that I will seek out the rest of my years as a single chica. Make me grin? A little. But then again, I think of something else, and I grin at that thought, and wonder..... what will happen? Will anything happen?

Life is weird. But I'm happy to say that I'm finally feeling a little more fabulous these days. A nice reprieve from the anger, sadness and irritation clouding my mind. And maybe I'll get a phone call soon..... maybe.... ;-)