Friendship: Defined

You know that cliche saying about guys and girls not being friends when each, or one, have significant others? This crazy idea that for some reason, people of the opposite sex cannot be friends unless they are both single? Yeah, I think it's crazy too. I have a good handful of girlfriends that I adore - and I go to them whenever I can. Why? Because they are my bonafide, true through-and-through, girlfriends. However, I do have a select few guy friends that I think highly of and enjoy my time with, non-sexually (duh). But I've noticed a change lately and I can only point the cause to: relationships.

I am in a very good, healthy, happy relationship - FINALLY. For the first time there have been no regrets, no wondering "what if's" or any of that nonsense. Like Martha says, it's a good thing. And even my girlfriends can agree, and also share in my happiness. My guy friends? A whole other animal. I have one guy friend who completely ceased communicating and when I asked what was up, I found out he was dating someone. Oh lovely! I was truly happy for them. So they were content to text me for hours in my pre-I-have-a-boyfriend stage, until 1.) they got a girlfriend and 2.) I officially got a boyfriend. Odd? Yes. I never found them attractive nor did I want to date them. So I thought it was just a friendship. So why cease communication? Oh, that's right, the relationship thing... And then there is the other friend who ceased communication when I became officially taken. They are not dating someone but for some reason, they don't initiate conversations, there are no social invites - nada. And in both of these situations, I was, and remain still (sorta) a kind person inquiring as to how they are doing. Even while I have a magnificently awesome boyfriend, I still reach out to my guy friends (again, sorta). Why? Because they are my friends - or so I thought. I could also discuss a few other people who have done the same thing, but I think my point has been made.

Apparently, when we get ourselves into relationships, we automatically filter out the friends we had who were of the opposite sex. OR, our single friends filter us out if we are the ones in the relationship. Why? This I'm still unsure about. I'm just aware that it exists. And I'm also aware that my continually trying to interact with people who, frankly, just want to be douchebags, well, so be it. I just write you off as a nobody and consider you no longer my friend. Because if for some reason you feel you cannot be friends with me because I have a boyfriend, I have to wonder why you were my friend in the first place. Or, if for some reason you feel you cannot be friends with me because now you have a girlfriend, I then have to also wonder why you were friends with me in the first place.

Silly boys - you can't outsmart me. This crazy game you play makes absolutely no sense. And this is why cliches are created - because you feel we can't be friends. And this is fine. It's one less person I have to worry about and more time I can throw at my girlfriends, who are fabulous, unlike you.