Dark Nights

I cannot help but my feel my heart is without.... As it feels it has lost many things and not just one. A pattern to life that things rarely turn out as planned or that hopes mean nothing in the large scheme of life. Strength overrides all other emotions and I am learning that my match, must apparently, be much stronger than I once thought.

Desire knocks at my door with tempt and tease, and one time I looked upon it as a favor to my soul. More to learn and more to gain. But at the end of the day, desire speaks to me less and I feel empty and without.

I want so badly for many things and yet for so little. I want raw desire mixed with passion and strength in something trusting and kind. Is this possible? I want to be realistic and yet I don't think my head is in the clouds or in some fantasy place. I do believe what I want is realistic. I know what it's like to settle or make things happen to better the other half. Though I wonder, what would it be like if I did not settle and/or things happened for me?

Truth be told I feel as though it's rather dim in my life right now. I'm not completely happy and with things slipping from my fingers, I go where my mind naturally defaults to when things get tough: I run. Not away necessarily, but I run for cover and maneuver for protection.

If only things could go faster then maybe I could really see the light at the end of the tunnel. If life turned around and stopped playing games, maybe I could see the sun always, and not the fog that litters my view most every day.


-- Post From My iPhone