If I Had A Million Dollars

Unemployment blows. I am at my breaking point right now. I have 0$ to my name and many bills that need to be paid. I know I could be worse off, but I don't like where I am. I understand there are others who have it worse, but right now, I'm taking care of me. And me is not happy. I know that come mid-year, my credit will be in shambles. But on the positive - so will a LOT of peoples credit. So..... I will look like everyone else who is jobless and trying to figure out how to pay credit cards and loans and mortgages, on nothing. And where I thought I would have received $ by now from the govt, they apparently are set on playing games with people and saying the wait is originally 4-8 weeks, but now its 8-12. I'm at 9 weeks. 12 if you include the prior weeks in another state. Fuck this? Oh for sure. FOR SURE.

The only positive to discuss... hm. Well. We have a new president and I'm absolutely thrilled. Gitmo is being closed. There is hope in the air. If only that would transpire to people calling me and telling me they want me to interview, or calling and telling me that my interview was awesome and they want to hire me. If only.... right? Lot's of hope all around, I just wish I could see some of it become something.

I'm grateful for the part-time work I have. Grateful that my managers love me enough to throw me a ton of hours. Grateful that the minimal amount of $$ I get can help pay for certain bills.... I only wish it could magically pay them all. And I sometimes wish I could go back in time and say no to loans or credit cards, nixxing them from my life before I get into a mess.

I guess there is some positive to discuss.... when all is said and done, in a few months from now when I have a job.... late fees will be paid, everything will begin to be paid on time, and that hope that we all talk about, it will be seen. It's for shit right now but we all know that it won't stay like this forever. We all know that where there is a beginning, there is an end. I just hope the end comes sooner rather than later.